Tonight is the night of the Spectator’s Summer Party and since I am likely to bump into lots of old university friends who now happen to be either members of the Tory shadow cabinet or the future Prime Minister, I’d just like to clarify why it is that I devote so much blog space to slagging them and their party off.
“Why don’t you have a go at Labour?” I can imagine some of them saying. “They’re the ones doing the damage, after all.”
To which my reply would be: “Only till next Summer at the latest, after which the ball’s in your court. The key question is: ‘Are you just going to spend your five years in office treading water, papering cracks? Or are you going to spend ten, or perhaps fifteen, years in power actually making a real difference?”
I honestly doubt there are many readers of this blog who don’t want the Tories to win the next election and David Cameron to be our next Prime Minister. But I know there are lots who feel as I do that there’s absolutely no point in their winning if they’re just going to behave like a bunch of Tinos. (Not like proper Conservatives, in other words, but like Tories In Name Only)
“Look never mind the detail. Let’s get Labour out first, then see what the Tories can do,” you’ll hear many natural Tories arguing.
To which I say: “No. No and thrice No. Don’t you see, you poor naive fools, that by then it will be too late?”
It will be too late for two reasons. Firstly, because if the Tories carry on as they are, they won’t have a decent working majority. The reason for this, as we saw in the Euro elections, is that the vote for the three main parties is atomising. No longer does it make sense, as it might have done five years ago, for the Tories to be praising Polly Toynbee and chasing huskies across melting ice shelves in order to capture those all-important soft-liberal-left swing votes in the key marginals. All this does now is to further irritate and alienate all those natural Tory supporters who have been driven into the arms of UKIP or, worse, the BNP. The Tories now have far many more votes to lose than they do to gain by this “let’s make everyone like us by abandoning every core principle we used to stand for” routine.
The second reason it won’t work is because if the Tories’ strategists are led to believe that natural Conservatives are willing to swallow their pride and vote for them regardless, then what will be the incentive for them to buck up their ideas and start working on some sound policies?
Britain is in an unspeakable mess. Our economy lies in ruins. The NHS is a bloated monster with a gaping, insatiable maw. Immigration is out of control. Social cohesion has broken down thanks to decades of state-enforced multiculturalism. Our armed forces have been utterly humiliated in southern Iraq. 85 per cent of all our new laws are decided by Brussels-based socialists, gold-plated and rubber-stamped by British bureaucrats, and then rigidly enforced by elf-n-safety-obsessed jobsworths. Our education system has been dumbed down to the point of ruination. Our economic efficiency is circumscribed by burdensome regulation. I could go on, as no doubt you could too, but all I want to ask at this point is….
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU USELESS RUDDY TORIES PLANNING ON DOING ABOUT IT?