According to the Prince of Wales’s expert calculations we have only 94 months left to save the planet from the perils of Man Made Climate Change.
Today he urges that we all do our bit by walking and using public transport a bit more, and using our cars less. I think this is an utterly brilliant idea. Like the Prince, whenever I drive around the country in my motor car, I find myself being quite repelled by the ghastliness of so many other road users. Their accents are frightful, their driving habits slovenly and their choice of music leaves a great deal to be desired. Quite a few of them, one imagines, don’t even have valets to put their toothpaste on their toothbrushes of an evening.
Get ‘em off the road and into buses, say I. Preferably buses without windows so one doesn’t have to look at them when one drives past in one’s bio-fuel-powered Aston Martin. Or one’s Range Rover. Or one’s two Jaguars. Or one’s two Audis.
And while we’re about it, let’s stop them all from flying too, shall we? It’s not as though any of these people achieve anything useful on their holidays, like galvanising captains of industry into screwing their smaller-scale competitors with their promises of carbon emissions reductions or painting sensitive water colours of hills near Sienna or climbing up and down Lochnagar with a shepherd’s crook.