Q. Why did God give liberals annoying, whiny voices?

A. So that even the blind could hate them.

This is one of my favourite jokes from a new book published today called 365 Ways To Drive A Liberal Crazy.

Modesty forbids me from naming the author but if you buy it in sufficient quantities I can offer you his cast-iron guarantee that not a penny of the proceeds will be spent on anything remotely worthy or eco-friendly. Perhaps they will go towards rescuing one of his children from the…

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15 thoughts on “Q. Why did God give liberals annoying, whiny voices?”

  1. I didn’t know Ann Coulter was a liberal. The biggest whining comes from libertarians – they don’t like rules. Our local libertarian consistently breaks election rules to try and get legislation through to lower his tax bill. He’s a single slumlord.

    Cell phones present the best arguments against libertarianism – idiots who think it’s OK to drive while on the cell phone. Even this afternoon, while waiting in line at the Post Office. Two people are talking to each other with a woman to one side between them. All of sudden she yanks out her cell phone and drowns out the conversation with the usual “I’m at the Post Office – I’ll be back soon…….”. People who aren’t interested in other people.

    And so many libertarians are liars for Jesus.

  2. Libertarin “funny” of the day.
    “Pop ’round to your nearest extremist mosque with a bottle of Pepsi. Say to the Imam:
    “Look I know you guys say you love death more than you love this stuff. But have a sip—you might just change your mind.””

    So Libertarians have been conned into drinking sugar water mostly made with high fructose corn syrup foisted on them by Archer Daniels Midland. Muslims are smarter than that.

    How stupid is that – paying money for sugar water.

    This is like 365 ways libertarians reveal how ignorant they are.

  3. HAHAHA!!!!

    Love, Love LOVE your new book “365 Ways”…read many out loud to the relatives during Christmas Holiday; my father-in-law insisted on a copy, so I have one ordered via Amazon on its way to North Cali, where there are actually Californian Conservatives.
    Always I remain your biggest fan in Texas,
    Lori

  4. James the idiot wrote:-
    “Hitler was a National Socialist. This means liberals, who are socialists in all but name, are Nazis.”

    Hitler was a Catholic and killed gays and jews. Are libertarians all as stupid as this.

    Religion has rotted out his brain. Godbots logic always sucks. This in fact is an example of Godwin’s law that conversations on the Internet have reached bottom when an idiot invokes “Hitler”.

    Same circular reasoning they use to explain God.

  5. Oh yeh the book is really funny. Today he reuses the lawyer joke.

    “Q: How can you tell when a liberal politician is lying?

    A: His lips move.”

    Given that the Republicans have lied about absolutely everything this is a really clueless page.

    Nutcase smoking golf nut Boehner said he wanted to cut $100Bn but then gave tax cuts to the rich.

    These people are mentally ill. And they believe in skygods. Don’t know squat about science or the planet.

  6. Chris P writes in his post above, ” The biggest whining comes from libertarians – they don’t like rules..”

    You simply don’t know how ironic and fuk-wit funny you are do you?

    You can rip the crap out of lefties and they just drone on in their pre-programmed (since Marx) idealism not a new idea or thought entering their left-turd programmed peanut sized brain.

    You can rip to shreds their arguments with facts and the reality it’s been tried before and failed but it won’t get in the way of their idealistic zombie existence. The dull grey nodding drones of the left didn’t just inhabit the film 1984, they LIVE the lifestyle.

    Why did God give lefties brains? So that Karl Marx had something to pulp. Chris P doesn’t exist, he’s a pawn in a socialist clearing house for their propaganda machine

  7. James

    You write “society is by nature conservative” and quite right too. But conservative in the term of living a productive responsible life, not conservative as in being a drone of the right wingers Ponzi scheme and voting conservative.

    There are libertarians with ideals and there are Libertarians in the way they live.

    One gets on with their life, interacting with society, building their prosperity and never needing a windbag (politician) from nappies to grave. The other just believes in liberty but can’t wait to foist their beliefs on others (Regan Thatcher etc).

    Because while the left has their scare story/herd and coral Ponzi scheme with welfare, healthcare, climate change etc, so too does the right have their scare story/herd and coral Ponzi scheme with military spending, wars and finance.

    It’s just 2 versions, left and right, of the same criminal monopoly enterprise to ratchet wealth and liberty from society. Government is a Ponzi scheme whatever colour ribbon you pin on its slippery shoulders

    So a true Libertarian believes in a free lifestyle and lives it. He doesn’t recommend a political party or a politician to “save” us from a new scare story.

    Libertarians don’t just want freedom we desire to live free from all tyranny of Gov’t

  8. The Libertarians that call themselves libertarians take advantage of the system and don’t give a crap about other people.

    If libertarianism is like this “thought for the day” from the book:-

    “Start a rumor:
    Ingrid Newkirk, founder of the animal rights extremist group PETA, wasn’t just blowing off empty rhetoric when she said, “When it comes to feelings, a rat is a dog is a pig is a boy. . .” Her eco-friendly home is powered entirely by her “family” of adopted pigmy children whom she has rescued from the war-torn Congo. In return for her generous hospitality, each child spends no more than five hours a day in her basement “fun-running” on the giant hamster-style wheel that powers her turbine generator. It used to be eight hours, but she found that on a compulsory vegetarian diet the kids tended to flake out from exhaustion.”

    Then it completely destroys your argument. Trying to create rumors is WRONG. Duh.

    Velocity wrote: not a new idea or thought entering their left-turd programmed peanut sized brain.

    Hey idiot features I helped invent the disk drive in your stupid computer. It’s impossible to hold a conversation with libertarians because they get their news from Savage, Limbaugh, Coulter and all those other fearmongering suppliers of rubbish to the gullible. The right wing still believes in sky fairies and doesn’t understand science at all. The more right wing people are the more hopeless they are at coming up with good ideas – Libertarians always want to go back to their caves.

  9. Todays stupidity in the book of ignorance
    “Join a liberal reading group
    Propose as your first book choice The Bell Curve by Richard J. Herrnstein and Charles Murray.”

    Right wing nuts don’t have clue about humor. Plus – liberals already know how to read so they don’t have to have help. The libertarians are still re-reading the bible thinking that there’s a skygod that will help them out.

  10. Adding to the pueril humor. I could suggest that liberals go to bible study and suggest they read Dawkin’s “God delusion” or even ask, given that the Bible is inerrant and comes from an inerrant god, why are there so many different versions and why are there dozens of contradictions even in one Bible.

  11. “Quote G. Gordon Liddy:
    “A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellowman, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.””

    Who listens to Gordon Liddy? So providing hundreds of manufacturing jobs to people is “paying off with their money”?

    How clueless are you – Republicans don’t create manufacturing jobs – they send them to China. They have no clue about science – they think it’s magic from God.

  12. “Always refer, in pitying, sympathetic tones,
    to the “Liberal psychopathology.” This implies that liberalism is a form of mental illness. Which it is.”

    Since you know squat about anything scientific how can you make this statement?

    You are just like all the other Right Wingers – rude and stupid.

    Your statement is totally worthless and degrading – there is nothing positive to it at all.

    Did you have a bad experience at primary school?

  13. “Give them another reason why President Obama has GOT to go.”

    And replace with which brain dead Republicans? Bachmann, Palin, Boehner, McCain are all completely bonkers.

    George Bush managed to screw up the whole planet. Republicans have NOTHING between their ears. They believe in skygods and witches. Several are Mormons.

    They have no Creative ideas. They are useless at science and mathematics.

    They’re all ignorant morons. Gun toting morons.

  14. “Watch a TV show/movie with a liberal and spend the entire time deconstructing the PC subtext of the casting.”

    You people really are paranoid.

  15. “Refer to the “Fairness Doctrine” as the “Unfairness Doctrine.”
    the liberals have captured Google, Wikipedia, most of the print media, television, and Hollywood. In what way is it “fair” to give the man “equal say” in talk radio as well? Liberal talk radio doesn’t get “equal” ratings; the unfairness doctrine is really just another socialist effort kill another industry (by making talk radio boring and “forcing” government to take it over).”

    Which perfectly illustrates why libertarianism doesn not work. Rupert Murdoch takes over the airwaves and uses the tactics of religions to appeal to the base of humanity that is gullible by spreading lies and BS. Family Research Council, NOM, Worldnetdaily, Brannon Howse, Eugene Delgaudio and the dozens of others do the same thing. Fearmongering fo money.

    Its what james is doing. He wants to emulate Ann and Rush. He has no interest in reality – just in tweaking people. The Telegraph used to be a good newspaper – now it’s as bad as the Sun. Totally unsupportable drivel from talking heads.

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